Speakonia Adventures
by Mr. FanficGuy
Summary: This may be a first for this site. A fanfic based entirely around Speakonia and other text-to-speech voices. Expect a lot more humor, as well as a lot more crassness in this particular fanfic. Microsoft Sam & Microsoft Anna, Microsoft Mike & Microsoft Mary. Chapter 2 is up. Please review,
1. Chapter 1

**Note: **To celebrate Father's Day, here is a little treat for all you Speakonia and text-to-speech voices fans. I've noticed that Speakonia and text-to-speech voices in general seem to get ignored by fanfiction writers. So to make up for it, here is my effort at making a Speakonia / Text-to-speech fanfic. Also, this will be my first fanfic that isn't set in Japan. This also could be a first for this site, to have a fanfic entirely consisting of text-to-speech voices. Huge progress, eh?

**Another Note: **In case you are not aware of what text-to-speech voices are, they are computer voices made by Microsoft, Lernout & Hauspie, and RoboSoft. Many of these voices are also on Speakonia, which can be downloaded for free online. A few of the most popular examples of text-to-speech voices include Microsoft Sam, Microsoft Mike, Microsoft Mary, Microsoft Anna, L&H Michael, L&H Michelle, and Radar Overseer Scotty (what many TTS video makers name Speakonia Adult Male #1). There are videos of these voices all over YouTube. Notable TTS video makers include: Thunderbirds101 (he is known as the king of TTS videos), WSAM0TV, GWizard777, davemadson (he is one of my all-time favorite TTS video makers), nkrs200, AT88TV, and _many_ **many **others.

**One Last Note: **I hope you all enjoy this one and please don't forget to leave a review. And one more thing, this fanfic will also be uploaded simultaneously on my DeviantART account (I'm under the name CJO1234).

**P.S.**: Writing-wise, this fanfic will have slightly different formatting than that of my other fanfics. This chapter will also be considerably shorter than my average chapters as of late. But they will expand in length later on and include _far_ less facts.

**Rating: **PG-13 for strong language throughout and some comic mischief.

* * *

**Speakonia Adventures**

Chapter 1

* * *

"Beep beep beep! Beep beep beep!", the alarm clock rang.

After a few seconds, a hand reached over and shut off the alarm. A man sat up in the bed, yawning and stretching. The man is Microsoft Sam, the default voice for Windows 2000 and Windows XP. Sam is probably the most famous of all the Speakonia/text-to-speech voices. There was a woman in the bed with him. The woman is Microsoft Anna, Sam's former rival and current girlfriend, and the default voice for Windows Vista and Windows 7.

"Morning, Anna", Sam greeted.

"Good morning, Sam", Anna replied back.

They then kissed each other and they got out of bed and walked out of the room. After getting dressed, the two lovers walked down to the hallway of the ROFL City Hotel, hand in hand. When they got into the kitchen they were met by Microsoft Mike and Microsoft Mary, optional TTS voices for Windows 2000 and Windows XP. Mike is Sam's younger brother, and Mary is Mike's girlfriend.

"Morning, big bro", Mike greeted.

"Same to you, little bro", Sam replied.

The two brothers then did their secret handshake (grabbing each other's hand with their forearms at a 45 degree angle and spinning it around) .

"Good morning to you, Anna", Mary called out.

"Good morning to you too, Mary", Anna responded.

"So what's going on?", Sam wondered.

"Nothing much, really", Mike answered, "Mary and I were about to head down to the dining room to get some breakfast".

"Is that so, eh?", Sam interjected, "Anna and I were doing the same thing".

"Well, what the hell are we doing standing around here for, let's go", Mike suggested.

"I hope there's still some good stuff left down there", Mary cut in.

"I'm sure there will be some good stuff left", Anna reassured her.

"I just hope Bacon didn't eat all the bacon already", Sam sighed.

"I know what you mean, that guy is insane for bacon", Mike agreed.

"And I hope Banana didn't take all the bananas again", Mary answered.

"I know, that man is crazy about bananas", Anna concurred.

As they got to the landing of the stairs, they ran into Lernout & Hauspie Michael and Lernout & Hauspie Michelle, optional voices for Windows XP. They are not only brother and sister, but they are also fraternal twins. They were walking out of the dining room, apparently they had been up for a little while.

"Oh hi there, guys", L&H Michael called out, "Nice to see you all up and about"

"Morning, Michael. Morning, Michelle", Sam replied, "So what's up?"

"We were just about to go out on our morning exercise routine", L&H Michelle explained, "We do this every day, rain or shine or wind or snow".

"You two must really be devoted to keeping yourselves healthy", Anna answered back, "Well, we'll leave you two to do your stuff".

With that, the twins nodded to the group as they walked down the hall to the entrance. The 4 main characters then walked into the dining room. Of course, Bacon and Banana were near the meat section and the fruit section. Radar Overseer Scotty was in between the bacon lover and the banana lover, making sure they didn't overdose on their respective foods. He himself was making a triple-decker baloney

"Yes, I gotta have that bacon. I love bacon almost as much as life itself", Bacon proclaimed.

"And I love bananas. But I can't possibly eat one because bananas are my friends", Banana concurred.

"Hey guys, heads up", Scotty warned his two companions, "Here comes Sam and the gang".

"Well shit, I'd better put some bacon back into the pan", Bacon muttered, "Otherwise he'll kick my ass again".

"And I'd better not take all the bananas or Sam would shove another one of them up my ass", Banana grumbled, "That was fucking painful trying to get the last one out of my anus".

They had just finished putting some of their stuff back when the group came in. Sam said that he appreciated the fact that Bacon and Banana didn't go overboard for once. So with that, they all dished up some food, which included all the usual stuff you'd find at a hotel breakfast.

However at one point, when Mike tried to eat a banana, Banana went absolutely batshit, chasing Mike around the room with a big ass wooden mallet, like you'd see in cartoons. Bacon had to chase after him and then tackle him to the ground so that he wouldn't accidentally harm Mike or anyone else.

You see, for many years, according to Banana's creator, tigerclaw64, before Banana met Bacon, his only companion was just that, a banana. Because of that, he believes that bananas have souls. And so whenever someone eats a banana within his line of sight, he goes crazy as a result. Kind of a sad story.

Other than that incident, everything went smoothly. A little while later however, as they were exiting the hotel, they heard a loud crashing noise from the parking garage below the building.

"HOLY CRAP ASS SHIT MOTHER FUCKING TACOS! What the hell was that?", Sam shouted as the group ran to see what caused the noise.

When they got there, they were met with a grisly sight. One of those old fashioned funny cars had crashed into Sam's expensive Lols-Royce, pretty much destroying it.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Only one thing to say about this!", Sam gasped, then started screaming:

"GOD DAMN IT SON OF A BITCH PIECE OF SHIT MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE FUCK FUCK FUCK! MY LOLS-ROYCE IS COMPLETELY TOTALED! WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID THIS, I WILL POUND THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THEM!"

A few seconds later, a human popped out of one of the windows. He is a rather fat guy with short red hair. That fat guy is me, Mr. FanficGuy, or as I'm known on DeviantART, CJO1234.

"What happened?", I asked, then as I caught glimpse of the damage cried out, "OH SWEET MAMA!"

"You little bastard! You destroyed my $300,000 Lols-Royce! I'll get you for this!", Sam shrieked as he charged at me with a caveman's club and I found myself running like hell, making huffing and puffing noises and tripping over my shoelaces all the way.

Anyway, Sam caught up to me and whacked me in the back, punched me in the face a few times and then gave me the wedgie of a lifetime, by hanging me by my underpants from the hotel's flagpole.

"All right! All right! I'll find a way to pay for the damage! Just please get me down from here!", I cried out, my voice in higher pitch because of the pressure on my testicles.

"Okay then, hold on", Sam sighed as he lowered me back down and then apologized by saying, "Sorry about that, Mr. Boss sir. I just lost control of myself".

"Well, try to control yourself next time, okay?", I explained to him, my voice going back to normal pitch, as I readjusted my underpants and grabbed my aching back, "You had me scared shitless".

"Again, I'm sorry, sir", Sam apologized once more, this time more sincerely, "Come on, I'll take you back inside to get you patched up".

* * *

Don't feel too bad, folks. I wasn't hurt that badly. Besides, ROFL City has the best medical care of any city in the universe. And also, I thought it would be funny for you all to see me be a Butt Monkey.

* * *

Later that day, after I had gotten all patched up at the first aid room, I brought the characters together for a staff meeting, and announced that starting next chapter, there will be some new characters added to the story.

"What do you mean, new characters?", Sam demanded.

"And how many are you talking about?", Mike questioned.

"They're not going to be evil clones are they?", Mary asked.

"Or are they going to be nice people?", Anna wondered.

"Well, you'll find out...", I announced, "...when Chapter 2 comes out"

"GOD DAMN IT SON OF A BITCH PIECE OF SHIT MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE FUCK FUCK FUCK!", Sam called out, as the scene goes to an iris out.

* * *

**Characters in this chapter:**

Microsoft Sam - 25 years old, black hair, red eyes

Microsoft Mike - 24 years old, black hair, green eyes

Microsoft Mary - 22 years old, light brown hair, blue eyes

Microsoft Anna - 23 years old, light blond hair, blue eyes

L&H Michael - 24 years old, brown hair, green eyes

L&H Michelle - 24 years old, blond hair, blue eyes

Radar Overseer Scotty - 26 years old, red hair, green eyes (voiced by Speakonia Adult Male #1)

Bacon (actual name) - 24 years old, bacon strip for hat, dirty blonde hair, orange eyes (voiced by Speakonia Adult Male #3)

Banana (actual name) - 24 years old, banana for hat, dirty blonde hair, yellow eyes (voiced by either Speakonia Adult Male #2 or Speakonia Adult Male #3)

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Chapter completed on **Sunday June 16, 2013 **(Happy Father's Day)

A _very special _thanks to tigerclaw64 (one of the youngest TTS video makers on YouTube) for allowing me to use her original character, Banana. Check out her DeviantART account and her YouTube account (same name for both accounts). She makes some great TTS videos and she uses humanoid designs for the voices.


	2. Chapter 2

Note: Now we move on to Chapter 2 of Speakonia Adventures. We're going to get a major cast expansion in this chapter, as characters from other TTS universes join in on the party. As I said before, the Speakonia / text-to-speech video phenomenon in HUGE on YouTube.

Another note: As usual, I apologize for being so slow in updating my other 2 current fanfics (Lucky Star: After Story and Saki: After Story). They'll be up when I can get them up.

One last minor note: As of this chapter, Speakonia Adventures will now become more of a adventure comedy fanfic. Next chapter will be longer than this chapter.

* * *

Before we get back to the story, here's a brief word from Microsoft Sam about his RoflCopter on ROFL City TV.

_"Hello there everyone. My name is Microsoft Sam, and this is my roflcopter. Yyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaawwwwwww! I drank so much coffee and Red Bull today that I'm talking fast as a result. Anyway, now let's talk about my roflcopter. It goes over nine thousaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand miles per hour, so it can circle the whole goddamn earth in under an hour. It is also very very very roomy. You can fit a whole fuckload of IWAY cookies in there and it will still go just as fast. That's right, even if there's IWAY Cookies stacked from the floor to the fucking ceiling, the roflcopter will never lose its speed. And here's the best part, I built it entirely by myself with nothing but a box of scraps. Points if you get the reference. Oh shit shit shit, I'm running late and I need to get back to ROFL City. Thanks for your time. And one more thing, my roflcopter goes soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi."_

To explain, whenever Microsoft Sam says "soy" or "soi" he ends up sounding like a whispered "swa" or a helicopter blade. However, for Speakonia Sam, if you type in a word starting with L or W such as Soy life or Soy waffle, then Sam will say "soy" correctly. Also, if you type in "Syoi", he'll almost say it correctly.

The video is on YouTube entitled "Microsoft Sam talks about his RoflCopter", it was uploaded on June 23, 2013 on my YouTube account RetroVideoFan / C.J.O'Dell. Now getting back to the story.

* * *

**A few days later**

Iris in from black.

So anyway, a few days after the events of Chapter 1, I called the group into the lobby of the hotel early in the morning (I had been up all night long). I forgot to explain the reason why we are still at the hotel. Well, the reason is that the mansion where all the TTS voices live is being fumigated and Sam's diarrhea infested toilet is being thoroughly cleaned. Sam usually likes the idea of his toilet being his "own personal air freshener", despite everyone else's protests and futile attempts to try and clean it. However, not too long ago, the smell got so bad that even Sam couldn't stand it any longer and he reluctantly agreed to have it completely cleaned out.

"All right everybody! Let's go!", I called out, "Staff meeting! Let's move, people! We don't have all day!". And soon after, Sam, Anna, Mike, and Mary made their way down the stairs.

"God damn it, Mr. Fanfic Guy", Sam grumbled, "Why did you have to get us up so early? It's only about 6 in the morning!".

"No it's not, Sam, it's actually about 5:45 am", I explained, "But the sun is already up. And also Sam, that is no way to talk to your boss".

Sam clenched his right hand into a fist, but Anna grabbed his arm before he could take a swing at me. If he did, I very well would have fired his ass on the spot. Although I _do sometimes like_ to push Sam's buttons just to see how angry he gets. Besides, I'm still mad at him for giving me that mega-wedgie.

"So anyway, why did you drag us out of bed so early anyway?", Mike asked, "It had better be important. I don't usually get up before 8".

"Well I told you at the end of Chapter 1, that some new characters were going to join the cast", I reminded them.

"I think I remember you telling us that", Mary cut in, "You said more people were joining"

"I remember you saying that now", Anna interjected, "When are they arriving?".

"Well they should be here soon", I answered, "So let's go and have some breakfast before they come".

At that moment, Radar Overseer Scotty stumbled down the stairs, falling on the last 3 or 4 steps and tumbling onto the floor unhurt. He was followed closely by the twins, L&H Michael and L&H Michelle, who were already dressed.

"What did I miss, sir?", Scotty asked, "Was it important?".

"Well, I was telling Sam and the gang that the new characters are supposed to come in later", I told him.

"What new characters are you talking about?", L&H Michael wondered.

"I never heard anything about new characters", L&H Michelle agreed.

Then I realized I forgotten to tell the 3 of them about the new characters coming in, so I quickly explained everything to them.

"So you're saying new characters are coming in?", Scotty asked.

"Yes Scotty, that they are", I answered back, "They're coming here today".

"Do you want us to stay here, too?", L&H Michael wondered.

"Well they won't be here for a few hours yet", I explained, "So you guys can get some breakfast and take your usual walk"

"Oh, well that sounds good to me", L&H Michelle cut in.

So with that, the 8 of us went into the dining room to have breakfast. When we got there we were surprised by what. Inside were two little huts, one made entirely of bacon, and one made entirely of bananas.

"What the hell is going on here and what's with all the bacon and all the bananas?!", I demanded.

"Well, I just built a little hut out of bacon", Bacon answered.

"And I built mine out of bananas", Banana replied.

"BACOOOOOOOOOOOON! BANANAAAAAAAAAAAA!", Sam shouted at the top of his lungs, "YOU BRAINLESS SONS OF BITCHES! WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS?!".

"Chill out, Sam!", I implored, "I think it's actually quite creative".

"SCREW YOU, SIR!", Sam hollered then pulling out a 9 iron golf club and turning back to Bacon and Banana angrily shouted, "I'M GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF BOTH OF YOU!"

Before Sam could attack, me and the others tackled Sam to the ground and restrained him, while Bacon and Banana sprinted out of the room and back upstairs. But Sam's fury was giving us serious problems, as he started swinging and kicking at us, trying to get out of our grasp.

"IT AIN'T WORTH IT, MAN!", I warned, raising my voice, "I'M TELLING YOU, IT AIN'T FUCKING WORTH IT!".

"I DON'T CARE, SIR!", Sam screamed in my ear, "THOSE TWO DUMBASSES ARE GOING TO FEEL MY WRATH NOW, BECAUSE I'M FUCKING PISSED!"

"Take it easy, big bro!", Mike implored.

"It's not a big deal!", Mary agreed.

"LET GO OF ME! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU ALL THINK!", Sam shrieked, "TO ME IT _IS_ A BIG FUCKING DEAL!"

"Calm down, Sam!", Anna begged, "Please! Do you want to end up going to court?"

"I DON'T EVEN CARE IF I GET ARRESTED AND GO TO JAIL! THEY'RE GONNA GET IT! JUST YOU WAIT!", Sam shouted again before he noticed that his girlfriend's big blue eyes were filling with tears.

"Please don't do it, Sam! Please, Sam!", Anna pleaded, the tears now falling down her cheeks and choking her voice, "I love you! I don't want to lose you!"

None of us have ever seen her cry before. We always see her as a strong woman so to see her start crying touched us all, especially Sam who thought for a few seconds.

He then calmed down and assured his girlfriend, "All right, Anna. I won't beat those guys up. Just please don't cry. It always tears me apart".

The rest of us, including myself, all breathed a sigh of relief. I then went back upstairs to get Bacon and Banana back down. When they came back, Sam reluctantly apologized to them. Of course, I had to give Sam a wedgie for behaving like he did.

"Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!", Sam squealed, "What the hell was that for?"

"For acting like a goddamn idiot!", I told him, "That and payback for you giving me that flagpole wedgie a few days ago. My ass is still chafed from that."

"Sorry, sir", Sam muttered.

* * *

**A few hours later**

Not too long after that, I got a call saying that the new characters were on the way here from the ROFL City Airport.

"Okay, good news guys", I announced, "The new recruits are on their way. They should be here any minute now".

"Good, I can't wait to meet them", Sam answered back.

"Hopefully they'll be pleasant to be around", Anna chimed in.

Just about 3 minutes after that, we got a call from the lobby saying that the new cast members had arrived.

Iris out.

One last note: Right now, I'm still trying to decide which characters from which universes to include. Sorry about the cop-out. But I promise, you will know next chapter. I PROMISE.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Chapter completed on **Thursday August 15, 2013**


End file.
